Johnny Law, The Man, Constabulary, Heat, Mounty, Pig. These are just a tiny sampling of the colorful descriptions used when discussing law enforcement. And as long as there have been peacekeepers, there have been songs written about them. Accordingly, the below list discusses some of my favorite songs about the law. This isn't meant to be a comprehensive lineup, or any kind of "best of" delineation; it's just a collection of interesting tunes touching on this theme, sometimes very bluntly and in other instances, with a bit more abstraction. Most lists like this have 10 entries, but in keeping with the rebellious nature of the included songwriters, here are nine.
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1) "54-46" by Toots and the Maytals
My favorite part of reggae is the ability to construct completely uplifting melodies and instrumentation around the most brutal of subject matters. Never has a story of arrest and incarceration sounded so fun!
2) "Stolen Car" by Bruce Springsteen
These lyrics are quintessential Springsteen -- in one sense they are telling a blue-collar narrative, but on the other hand, you get the impression that by "Stolen Car" he might mean something else altogether (and also possibly illegal). As a bonus, check out the cover version by Patty Griffin. As a super-bonus, here's another song called " Stolen Car " by Beth Orton (totally different from the Springsteen song) with some swirling, elegiac lap steel by ASCAP member Ben Harper. Of these three songs, I think I've actually listened to the Bruce version the least, but there's no accounting for taste.
3) "Lawyers, Guns and Money" by Warren Zevon
Zevon had lots of songs about committing crimes ("
Excitable Boy " and "
Roland the Headless Thompson Gunner " are the other two that jump to mind), but this one sticks out because you don't even know precisely
how the narrator has broken the law. Just that he needs lawyers, guns, and money immediately as a result of a) sleeping with a Russian spy b) gambling in Cuba and (my favorite) c) doing something untoward in Honduras. Zevon was a master of abusurdist, poignant, hilarious lyrics and here is a perfect example of his gifts.
4) "F**k Da Police" by N.W.A.
The message here is pretty straightforward and probably doesn't need much analysis. Subtlety was never N.W.A's strong suit, but after 23 years, this is still one of the greatest songs ever, in any genre. A brief digression -- Dr. Dre, Ice Cube and Eazy-E in the same outfit is obviously unfair, but here's the real question: by virtue of his contributions during and after N.W.A., is MC Ren the luckiest or unluckiest figure in the history of hip-hop? Discuss.
5) "Masters of War" by Bob Dylan
Like Zevon, Dylan has many songs about the law (most famously, "Hurricane"
6) "Sexx Laws" by Beck
Hey, we didn't specify what kinds of law would be covered here. Besides, this song is hilarious.
7) "Guns of Brixton" by The Clash
The most controversial part of this number is not the lyrics, touching on police violence and class/race warfare, but the completely freaky bassline by Paul Simonon (who ably handled lead vocals). Also, Fatboy Slim had the good presence of mind to use this riff in "
Dub Be Good To Me ." Nasty.
8) "99 Problems" by Jay-Z
Great tune and there have been some really creative mashups of it (with
the Beatles c/o Danger Mouse and with
Radiohead c/o of the unfortunately named, but I guess accurate, Jaydiohead). There's even a nifty little dash of constitutional law in the second verse for all of you legal scholars.
9) "Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap" by AC/DC
I'll admit it -- the second-coming of Beavis and Butthead may have inspired this pick. It's not necessarily about the law, but someone really needs to call the cops to get the protagonist under control. Concrete shoes, cyanide, TNT -- these lyrics were clearly penned pre-9/11. If Bon Scott were still alive, he would never be able to pass through a TSA checkpoint without submitting to a full exam.
